Do we say what we mean and mean what we say?
Consider the biblical passage “The love of money is the root of all evil”.
I won’t venture into the religious aspects of the passage but rather the idea that in regular, daily conversations we tend to bastardize and quote on only part of this passage. We tend to remove the first three words “The love of” from this passage effectively changing the entire meaning of it. Money is not the problem but rather the emotional connection we might have wth money. The problem might be our relationships with money.
I have a theory here… stay with me…
For this blog, I’m not interested in our relationship with money… that’s not my point. The point I’m working to make is that we communicate in fractals of what we intend and wonder why we are misunderstood.
Here’s another example:
People fear change.
Do you agree?
Most of you likely do. You likely think that you fear change yourself or you think of yourself as the courageous type that is unaffected by change and disagree with the statement.
I disagree but not out of courage or rebellion but rather I’m quite sure that the statement “People fear change” is incomplete. People do not fear change but rather they tend to fear some effect of change. They fear the emotional state that the change is sure to illicit in them. “Change” is nothing however in the example where we lose a job we might fear the financial security the job provided, the loss of friends in co-workers and the loss of status. We are fearing the loss, not the change.
We oversimplify in our communication and effectively change our meaning without intending to do so. We do this in nearly all of our relationships. Our marriages, our parenting, our careers… nearly all of our relationships including the relationship we have with ourselves is often confused by the incomplete communication we share and receive.
We’re not doomed. I’d like to invite you to consider thoughtful communication. Taking the time to reflect on what it is you wish to convey and to plan your communication more thoughtfully, more completely and more intently.
The perfection of our communication is within us all. When we pause to reflect before we speak, when we think about what we’re trying to say and when we choose our intention and then choose our words and expressions we find ourselves communicating more holistically, more complete.
Mean what you say and say what you mean.
Know what I mean?